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The 9 Office Party Personalities

by Dylan Lagestee, on Dec 17, 2018

It's the holidays, and nothing screams "holidays" at work more than the mandatory holiday office party. Whether you work with 10 coworkers or 10,000, you're certain to find a few of these personalities at the company party. Here are a couple people you might know or have met during the course of your party experiences.

1. The Houdini


The person who magically appears to say hi to everyone and is literally missing 15 minutes later. When everyone is talking about how great the party was, he/she is usually going along with everything. They’re in photos, but clearly at the beginning.

 2. Strictly Business


You cannot get away from work talk with this person. Still in their everyday work clothes at the party. It’s the day before Christmas Eve, and he reminds you of that project or meeting on the 26th. He will definitely respond to emails on Christmas day.

3. The Holiday Hater


They hate the holidays (the Grinch). Everything about it: the music, the spirit, the lights, the snow, the smell, sometimes even happiness itself. When, or shall I say IF they show up, they won’t participate in the festivities and they’re definitely not having ANY fun.

4. The Sports Enthusiasts


You hear the random cheers and high fives from the corner of the office. As you come closer, you find 3 of your work colleagues gathered around a 5.5 by 2.5 inch phone. One screams a curse word, and finally shuts off his phone after his team loses. If only Lebron made his free throws.

5. The person who brings the snack that no one touches


Oatmeal Raisin Cookies, Brownies with Nuts. They walk around asking everyone if they have tried their holiday treats and hand them out like it is some type of amazing hors d’oeuvre... "Sorry Phyllis, no one is touching your treats."

6. Politics Guy


Very similar to the conspiracy guy. They ruin conversations by mentioning some type of political conflict no matter what is being conversed. One tip to get out of the conversation is to immediately have the urge to use the restroom. BOOM convo is completed. Not rude, just human nature!

7. The Had Too Much To Drink


Well, if there is an open bar at the office party, you know they are the first one to it. They overdo it, and within an hour or two, they’re telling everyone to take shots of whatever is provided. HR is now sweating bullets as the party escalates.

8. The Conspiracy Guy


It’s hard to have a conversation with this person. I would not mention the words: Bitcoin, Robots, Government, Elites, Feds, etc. My advice is to avoid these trigger words, and you will have a much better time at your party.

9. The Mom


This person can be your hero, though you’ll probably hate them in your mind altered state. They are the keeper of keys and you’ll have to pass a sobriety test to get them back. No matter how much you curse at them, you’re not getting your keys back. They will, however, order you and your fallen comrades an Uber home.

Do you recognize any of these personalities? Share this blog with your friends and coworkers!